Ehh
I like the lyrics...although I'm not as fond as the delivery of them.
I feel the actual words and wording of the lyrics are pretty good and evoke feelings in me BUT without music in the back it falls flat for me a great deal.
To improve I would add some music (even simple music , tune , beat, sounds etc) to greatly enhance the song. Maybe even add some pauses as to not have it end so quick.
It has potential brotha.